I slept better at night with the false belief that you loved me Lyrics

?idealism Lyrics

Emotions so adjacent
Situations with sh*tty placement
Stressing out i'm caving in
Can't describe the mental state i'm in
These pills got me wondering what state i'm in
Teachers hate me cause i don't behave for sh*t
Guess it's just a personal issue
I swear to f**king god if you didn't give me birth i would hit you
And it still wouldn't make up for all the night that i wish you'd
Love me more than these pills do
It's all good thought i get it yeah i learned to accept it
I'll never be more than mediocre at best mainly pathetic
In your eyes always neglected i'll never forget it
Please don't try to love me when i'm doing better
Cause i don't wanna hear from you again ever
Ever again

Another cold december watching all my siblings under the tree
Receiving all these presents
I don't get nothing my moms holding a grudge i know she ain't forgetting
I've felt like a ghost since i was atleast eleven
None of that matters though and if it did i'd be considered narcissistic for thinking i deserve a spot in the family picnic
Or any of these pictures
I could write essays and scriptures
About all the sad sketches and figures
I'd draw in elementary that got me sent to the principles
Another lecture bout how i'm forgetting the principles
Of coping and it wouldn't do a damn thing even if they were printable
I'm just being cynical
I guess that's why i'm miserable
Depression makes me do the f**king unthinkable
These percs make me feel invincible
Can't believe you don't even claim me as a son and i would kill for you

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